Phyuck

As a man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot, the doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, but something happened. I’m trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “The good news is you’ve got $10,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new one that will not only work as well as your old one did, but even more often, if you wish.  The thing is, it doesn’t come cheap. It’s $1000 an inch.”

The man perks up at this news.

The doctor says, “So, it’s for you to decide how many inches you want, but it’s something you’d better discuss with your wife.  I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out.  But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed.  It’s really important that she plays a role in this.  Making decisions together will help you through this tough time.”

The man agrees to talk with his wife and the doctor leaves. 

The doctor comes back the next day.

“Well,” says the doctor, “have you spoken with your wife?”

“I have,” says the man.

“And has she helped you in making the decision?”

“Yes, she has,” says the man.

“And what is it?” asks the doctor.

The man replies, “We’re getting granite counter tops.”