Phyuck

Mysterious, glowing clouds previously seen almost exclusively in Earth’s polar regions have appeared in the skies over the United States and Europe over the past several days.

Photographers and other sky watchers in Omaha, Paris, Seattle, and other locations have run outside to capture images of what scientists call noctilucent (”night shining”) clouds. Formed by ice literally at the boundary where the earth’s atmosphere meets space 50 miles up, they shine because they are so high that they remain lit by the sun even after our star is below the horizon.

The clouds might be beautiful, but they could portend global changes caused by global warming. Noctilucent clouds are a fundamentally new phenomenon in the temperate mid-latitude sky, and it’s not clear why they’ve migrated down from the poles. Or why, over the last 25 years, more of them are appearing in the polar regions, too, and shining more brightly.

As a man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot, the doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, but something happened. I’m trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “The good news is you’ve got $10,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new one that will not only work as well as your old one did, but even more often, if you wish.  The thing is, it doesn’t come cheap. It’s $1000 an inch.”

The man perks up at this news.

The doctor says, “So, it’s for you to decide how many inches you want, but it’s something you’d better discuss with your wife.  I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out.  But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed.  It’s really important that she plays a role in this.  Making decisions together will help you through this tough time.”

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners,
asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.

"What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"

Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at
the dinner table."

"And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us
your good manners?"

"I would say: 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment?  I have to
shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce
you to after dinner.'"

The teacher fainted..

A Russian woman has set a new world record for vagina lifting….and yes, before you ask, we’re not making this up, and yes, the Guinness Book of Records keeps a tally on the record.

42 year old Tatiata Kozhevnikova broke the record by lifting a 31 pound (14 kg) glass ball. According to local media, Tatiata has been exercising her vagina for fifteen years. “After I had a child, my intimate muscles got unbelievably weak. I read books on Dao and learned that ancient women used to deal with this problem using wooden balls,” she said. “I looked around, saw a Murano glass ball and inserted it in my vagina. It took me ages to get it out!”

Just in case you haven’t tried lifting weights with your vagina before, Tatiata recommends it to all women who want to improve their sex life. “It’s enough to exercise your vagina five minutes a day, ladies, and in just one week you’ll be able to give yourself and your man unforgettable pleasure in bed,” she said.

From Inquisir.com